so kiss me and smile for me

i'm feeling very dead now. my whole body feels so heavy.

the "BIG MOMENT" has finally came. expectations have finally come crashing down on me.

no, i don't expect him to spoonfeed me. but how was i to know when he didn't even teach me how to use the spoon? i was juz thrown folders after folders of information and was expected to find out from there.

to think that i even follow his template to get it done. in the end, it was all wrong, wrong, wrong. I wasn't specific enough, I didn't make it idiot-proof enough, I didn't, I didn't.

& the tone he is using, is just like he has repeated 10 thousand times and I still hasn't got it into my brains. In fact, it was only the FIRST time I pass it to him and the FIRST freaking time I did a proposal in my ENTIRE 20 YEARS OF LIFE. I wasn't taught to prepare an event proposal, much less born to know how to do it.

How was I to know, you never told me.

maybe i'm really too stupid. i don't understand it too.

& the worse part of it all is not his constant naggings and sacarstic tone. it's the part where he says "i really expected a lot more out of u."

yes, it's the part where i know that i've failed to meet his expectations that fell me apart.

JAC.jac

- 6:27 PM