so kiss me and smile for me

these few days have been the lowest point of my life. my fri, sat and sunday are spent feeling ZERO confidence in myself. i don't know what can i do anymore. i don't know what can i hold on to or rather.. should i even hold on anymore.

i'm dying inside of me. i dunno wad to do with myself seriously. yet, i have to face the whole world with my smiles and confidence. because that is wad is expected of me.

do u know the feeling that u're crumpling inside, yet you have to smile and go along with the expectations of the whole world of you. including myself.

i know i can do it. everybody says i can.. i do not know why i hear this phrase so often. was it really that i give people such a confident and capable feeling? that everyone tells me that i can and eventually, i did it. i know i can do it if i want to. nothing is ever too hard for me to surpass..

yet, i'm crumpling inside now. can u hear my silent screams? will u come and save me?

come tomorrow, i'll enter the office with my ever bright smile and confident look - as if nothing can falter me. but do u know how i feel inside me? not that i'll let anybody know abt it.

everybody wants me to be who they want me to be. i'm not happy when i'm faking it.

JAC.jac

- 11:12 PM