so kiss me and smile for me

& i still very much want to believe in the good of people.

sometimes, i really don't know if i'm naive or maybe juz plain too young against the tainted adult world. but to the "adults" it seems like i've been putting too much trust in people and still living in a utopia where i thought if i am true to you, you'll be true to me.

there's this 1 sentence that particularly stood out among wad was being said by them. "it's not up to you to change who he is. you just take care of yourself and he'll know how to take care of himself." it's referring to my manager actually.

they didn't say that i was wrong when i show my concern for him; it's juz unnecessary. but i really dun see the harm in it. sometimes he'll complain to me abt his ailments and i always tell him to relax and calm down. "it's really not good for your health being so worked up all the time."

i dunno if it's just me.. but i can really see him making an effort to change. of cos, it might not be me. but for people like him, he really needs some words of care and concern no matter if he finds it too superficial or wad.

however, i'm also way past the part where i regard somebody as so important to me that i'll shatter once they leave me. maybe because i know that people always come and go. i'll treat u as a close friend, i even dun mind sharing stories of myself with you. but no, i won't treat u as a die-also-must-be-there-in-my-life person. shld you leave abruptly one day, that's fine with me. i'm really way past the era of being sad that i treat u as such a good friend but i wasn't on ur priority.

i can only say - don't assume you know me very well. because most probably, you really know NOTHING about me.

should you think i'm feeling very emo after reading this post, no i'm not. in fact i'm actually feeling good. it's just that i've hear too much heavy stuff for today and need to pen down some reflections.. alright! off to bed! good night folks!

JAC.jac

- 2:02 AM