so kiss me and smile for me

i realised that everybody is commenting that i sound rather low and emo these days. but i can't find the myself to be really cheerful when everything is still unsettled. i am afraid & is dreading what is to come. really afraid. why am i always fighting battles?

eh life.. give me a break can?? i'm tired leh!

on another aspect of my life - the following is going to be endless rant again. so if u're getting tired of my "downess" mode.. please skip.

i don't understand why must you keep sending me onto your rollercoaster of emotions. sometimes you're so damn good to me, giving me the royal treatment that i can't believe you're that good to be true. the next min, you're sending me way down, crashing to the floor with your sharp words.

i don't understand why at all.. it's tired to always keep up with your mood swings. to get hurt by ur words/tone and then to re-assure myself that it is "nothing personal".

yes, i still respect you a lot. since when have i ever defy ur instructions no matter how out of the scoope it is to my job descriptions? can you stop putting me through all your emotional rides? i'm tired enough having to deal with my own problems. i don't want to deal with yours. i am not your personal entertainer.

but perhaps to you, i am only just a tool. a tool to get all your work done and at the same time.. can bear with your mood swings. you don't really give a damn about my personal feelings. all the words of appreciation and value, are nothing but ur empty words.

pls stop.

on a happier note: going for a take pics trip with wen again this sat! woot!

on a side note: hope that happier days are not far away from me soon. plllssss!

JAC.jac

- 8:42 PM