so kiss me and smile for me

my heart is somewhat set on leaving. i mean i can't do anything there which i want to do and i feel that it is just simply a waste of my time then. all the marketing positions are alrd filled. i know that i was the one who agreed to get out of marketing - because i don't want to be a marketing administrator, taking care of doing stock take for A&P materials and what nots.

but what i'm doing now, is totally not what i want to do. yes, i admit that i'm learning a lot of wine knowledge & stuff but it's not what i want to do. i don't want to be selling and cold calling people up. if there's anything i'm sure about regarding my vast career future, it is definite that i do not want to be a telemarketer or something along that line.

i also admit that i will miss my colleagues a lot. including kitty maybe. cos he's such an amusing character. my lady boss definitely and all the other cool colleagues.

but i can't view "don't bear to leave" as my excuse right? i ought to think for myself too? if i'm really not doing what i want to do for my career, i should leave before more time is wasted?

i got loads of advices.. some asking me to wait until my probation is over, some saying i shld ride it out.. cos i never know since it's my first proper job, some saying i shld long quit given the salary and kitty's treatment..

i myself really couldn't bear to leave cos it's really convenient for me, i've alrd gotten used to the people there and made good friends with some even. the only thing is the salary and job scope. there isn't anything i can do abt both since they claim that salary can't be negotiated. it will be given to u according to appraisal.. which is fine with me la.. not my main concern. the only thing is the job scope.

i feel like i'm wasting my time there.. doing things i don't even have an interest in doing. and this can't be solved as i said, the position i want in tt company has alrd been filled long ago. somemore i want to major in marketing when i go back to Uni. kitty ask me to join his dept.. but even then.. business development also not wad i want to do - though it'll be better considering i can learn all his wine knowledge from him instead of wasting time under my stupid manager now. and even if i want to join, he ask me to go request to the boss directly.

sometimes ah.. he really teaches me to do all his "hiong" stuff.. like demanding my rights in knowing why the probation is 90 working days instead of 3 months.. he practically force me to go up to the HR manager and "talk things through" with her la. i really not as brave or "dynamic" as he likes to use as him loh.

but today when he ask me if i quitting cos my sub-nick put "shld i leave or shld i stay?".. he very worked up.. until i "lied" to him that i wasn't. he threaten to "kill" me if i want to leave wad.. i dunno how to tell him when the time comes for me to really leave.

i really don't bear to leave.. but i shld think for the sake of my career right??? somemore advices pls!

JAC.jac

- 12:10 AM