so kiss me and smile for me

couple of things that set my mind thinking today:

ONE

i've somewhat, finally got a conclusion to what i've been vexing over the past few days. and to think i've got the answer from a secondary sch senior, lionel, whom i don't really ever remember seeing him and introducing ourselves properly.. hahaha. but well, i've chat with him on many occassions through MSN.

he told me that i don't really have to stop myself from feeling certain feelings, in fact, it's a blessing to be in such indulgence. as long as i keep my views open. and let things go with the flow.

in fact, i read this somewhere before and have even adviced someone based on that before. but i was too caught up with my own emotions that i forgot all abt that.

the more i am to force myself to do certain thing which i can't do it at this moment, the more suffocated and stressed up i'll feel. and the more i'll flop at it.

so ya, nobody is setting a timeline for me. there won't be any timelines. i shall juz go with the flow. come what may.

thanks again to Da Bao, Mr. Meow, Anthony & Lionel for listening to my endless rants! hahaha.

TWO

I met up with Anthony today! after wad seems like many many months. and he said that i've changed alot! even my looks! and i was quite taken aback by this comment. he said that i look more mature and have changed for the better. he says i'm starting to look my age now. i used to look and talk like i'm 15 or 16.. which i'm surprised as well cos ppl always ask me if i'm 23 or wad.. and he asked me is it because of *coughs* he said even the way i speak and carry myself is different!
i was too astounded to make a reply. cos i don't think i didn't see him for tt long enough to have made these changes.
i really have no comments on this issue. haha.

THREE

I took a walk down memory lane today. though not for long enough. i was at my cousin's house warming and he shifted to Hougang. makes me remember how much i miss that place and how i'll always stick to the goal that if i have the money to buy my own house someday.. i'll definitely buy one in Hougang. Hougang is <3 where all my childhood and best memories of my life lie.

FOUR

It's always nice to talk abt the past.. cos the past are always for reminiscing purposes only. and how very nice esp if you find someone whom u're able to connect to the past. and just.. i was chatting to lionel abt MIRC, all its channels (#peicai, #mp3, #1987, blah blah blah) and ICQ. hahaha. i was [S]umm3r back then! LOL. thank goodness for MIRC, i got to know Mr. Meow.. ;)

and with Bao too.. we're both hopeless Sweet Valley fans. the other night some weeks ago.. she dug out some sweet valley vids from youtube and we were practically laughing over them.. we used to think that they're so cool with their centre-parting hairstyles and wad nots.. but it's all a joke now looking at them. how can we believe that they are high sch students when all the actors look like they're in their late 20s??? LOL. we ended up going through every character and who's our faves. Elizabeth, Jessica, Todd, Lila Fowler, Winston Eggbert, Amy Sutton, Bruce.. hahahaha.. we still remember who is coupled up with who ok!

i always enjoy exchanging info with her abt sec sch mischieve.. how we TOTALLY sucks at maths, how we were bookworms in primary sch.. doing all those bo liao stuff like setting up a fan club, babysitter club style for me and Olsen twins style for her. hahaha. holding garage sale, earning money by running errands.. all under all those american books influence. i think i had the exact type of growing up style as hers. hahaha. how very nice to have found BAO!

FIVE

Wen juz asked if I am interested to be a writer for her e-zine. which reminds me of how much i used to love writing and how much i missed writing. it's such a sad, sad case for me to stop writing as it still is one of my deepest passion apart from music. for writing, i can truly express my ideas and imagination - all according to how i want things to be. in writing, i can make things happen. i have the power to control. after wad seems like donkey years, i finally found inspiration in a storyline.. i really do hope i have the time and motivation to start writing it and start writing again altogether.

ok, this post is getting too long! time for beauty sleep!

JAC.jac

- 1:08 AM